What Must Be Carried
Living a Beautiful Life Beyond Loss
1. Auflage März 2025
208 Seiten, Hardcover
Wiley & Sons Ltd
A guide to start living again for those who have lost a loved one, written by a mother and widow
What Must Be Carried: Living a Beautiful Life Beyond Loss is an empathetic guidebook that walks readers through the grieving process, giving them the tools they need to carry the pain of their loss and start truly living again. With relatable personal narratives from Whitney Lyn Allen Gadecki, mother of two boys, Jackson and Leo, certified grief educator and coach, and a widow whose life has been forever altered by the loss of her husband, as well as actionable advice for those grieving, this book is a perfect, steady companion for anyone impacted by a devastating loss.
This book explores ideas including:
* The emotional range of processing grief, from numbness, to agony and rage, to cascading waterfalls of tears and beyond
* Patience, experimentation, time, curiosity, and practice as difficult but essential foundations of living with and healing from grief
* How to discover contentment, peace, love, and beauty anew, even when it often feels like life is all downhill from here
* Grief's hidden gifts of helping you live more authentically, ambitiously, purposefully, and fearlessly despite its heavy burden
What Must Be Carried: Living a Beautiful Life Beyond Loss is an important, helpful, and cathartic read for widows and all those who have lost someone precious to them seeking to once again shine brightly in the face of darkness.
Introduction xix
Chapter 1 The Weight I Carry 1
Chapter 2 He's Not Coming Home 9
Chapter 3 Don't Let Them Steal Your Joy 31
Chapter 4 When the Grief Lasagnas Stop Coming 55
Chapter 5 The Unraveling 75
Chapter 6 The Art of Practicing Living Before You Feel Alive 87
Chapter 7 The Scarlet "W" 97
Chapter 8 A Love That Feels Like Coming Home 109
Chapter 9 It's Not About a Refrigerator 131
Chapter 10 Wings to Fly 141
Chapter 11 I Carry It All with Me 155
Afterword 169
Acknowledgments 173
About the Author 175
"This beautiful gift of a book is perfect for those looking to rebuild after life's darkest days. Without shying away from the deep and heavy truth of what it takes to endure profound loss, Allen offers personal wisdom that helps us feel seen and inspires us to both follow and eventually become the light of hope that grievers need to survive."
--Meghan Riordan Jarvis, MA, LICSW, author of Can Anyone Tell Me: Essential Questions About Grief and Loss
"Drawing on her own harrowing experience with losing her husband, and the path towards working with widows, Whitney Allen brings us a raw, but sensitive, gentle, but fierce look at the messy journey of moving forward after significant loss, and the hidden gifts that lie therein. This beautiful book is for anyone going through the confusing, unpredictable experience of grief after loss, and looking for tender ways to begin carrying it forward. Hint: you don't have to carry it alone."
--Gina Moffa, LCSW, grief and trauma therapist and author of Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Navigating Loss
"Whitney gives an honest reflection on grief that empowers readers to move forward, discovering that even in the darkest moments, joy and authenticity are within reach."
--David Ferrugio, creator of DEAD Talks Podcast
"Whitney's What Must Be Carried offers a powerful reminder that healing isn't about returning to what once was, but rather creating space in our hearts for what is. Her writing beautifully encourages us to unapologetically embrace every emotion, allowing us to honor our grief while simultaneously seeking peace and joy. As a fellow young widow, I feel truly blessed by her wisdom in this guide. Whitney instills hope, reminding us that the power to heal lies within, and that What Must Be Carried won't always feel this heavy. She is a true gift to anyone walking the path of profound loss."
--Krystina Dinardo, widow, mother of three, and digital content creator
"Despite being written while in hell, Whitney's words offer a soft balm for all human hearts. She paints a realistic portrait of loss and grief- one of despair but also hope."
--Stacey Heale, author of Now is Not the Time for Flowers
"As a fellow young widow, Whitney truly does an amazing job articulating what life after loss looks like. Her ability to tackle the raw and messy parts of grief without sugar-coating it is undoubtedly valuable. By offering practical and tangible ways to navigate through dark times, she provides a sense of hope and empowerment, allowing the reader to find their own path to healing. In this book, Whitney's passion for helping others is palpable, while offering gentle guidance that supports you on your own journey."
--Kellie Bullard-Kelley, author of Behind My Smile
