The Identity Reset
A Guide to Discovering Yourself After Loss, Change, and Survival
1. Auflage März 2026
288 Seiten, Hardcover
Wiley & Sons Ltd
No one prepares you for losing the version of yourself that loss, trauma, and major life changes took. This book helps you discover who you are when life rewrites your identity.
The Identity Reset: A Guide to Discovering Yourself After Loss, Change, and Survival is a lifeline for those navigating the difficult in-between--when your past self no longer fits, and the future feels uncertain and unrecognizable.
For some, identity loss begins with what was taken. For others, it starts with what was never given: stability, affirmation, belonging, or the safety that trauma disrupted. And when the people, roles, or routines that shaped your life have died, it changes you. Author Ashley Olivia Nelson, a loss and trauma survivor, shows that discovering who you are isn't about "moving on"--it's about moving differently, without shame, pressure, or the need to perform.
This book helps you name what's missing, understand how you've changed, and gently mend who you are--without minimizing what happened to you. As an identity and grief specialist, Ashley Olivia Nelson offers:
* Finding the words for the invisible losses that shaped you
* Granting yourself permission to grieve and explore who you are now
* Steps to ease overwhelm and build emotional capacity
* Choosing relationships that truly accept you
You'll walk away with more than validation--you'll leave with direction. Whether you're grieving who you were or who you never got to be, The Identity Reset offers soul-tending reflection and clear, heartfelt insight.
Acknowledgments xi
Author's Note xv
Introduction xvii
Root One: The Shapeshifter 1
Chapter 1: It's Not All About Death 3
Chapter 2: It's Not Safe to Be Me 13
Chapter 3: The Unspoken Agreements We Make with Pain 25
Root Two: The Truth Seeker 45
Chapter 4: The Weight of What's True Now 51
Chapter 5: Tolerating the Distress of Change 65
Chapter 6: Is It Safe to Trust Myself? 77
Root Three: The Releaser 105
Chapter 7: The Dangers We Feel in Releasing 113
Chapter 8: The Practical Side of Releasing 131
Root Four: The Builder 153
Chapter 9: Hope-PTSD 159
Chapter 10: Building Your New Voice 173
Chapter 11: Building Your Community 203
Root Five: The Identity Root 219
Chapter 12: The Practice of You 225
Chapter 13: Stewardship 237
To Become, We Must Reset 253
Index 257
"Ashley Nelson's The Identity Reset is a compassionate and practical guide for anyone whose identity has been upended by grief or trauma. She does a beautiful job weaving personal insight with accessible practices that help readers integrate their loss while reclaiming their voice and direction. This book will be a powerful companion for grievers, clinicians, and anyone supporting others through transition."
--Julia Warren, C-IAYT and grief support specialist
"Globally renowned Certified Grief Specialist Ashley Olivia Nelson has written a book that offers safety and warmth for grievers wrestling with the question 'Who am I?' after loss. By sharing her personal journey of multiple losses and her identity reset, Ashley lovingly guides her readers through the work needed to reset and create a True Identity that will step into the world with them."
--Janice Tosto, host of "Grief Journeys" on G-Town Radio
"This is a beautifully written book melding personal experience and professional expertise into a guide through the pain and potential to be found in loss. It is informative and insightful about all the emotions and impacts of loss while also offering practical advice. Uniquely and wisely, Ashley Olivia Nelson acknowledges how universal loss includes all the losses we experience in addition to those caused by death. Through written exercises and frequent 'recaps,' the reader will come away feeling deeply understood, more self-aware, bolstered and inspired."
--Elena Lister, MD, child and adolescent psychiatrist, grief expert, and author of Giving Hope: Conversations with Children About Illness, Death and Loss