Preface ix

Acknowledgments xiii

Introduction xvii

Part One--Families of Affinity: Their Nature and Practices

1 A Family of Affinity 3

2 Defying a Proverb 13

3 Obstacles to Affinity: The Seven Paradoxes 21

4 The Physics of Affinity 31

Part Two--Defining the Journey

5 Essentials for Success 47

6 Happiness: Finding the Spiritual Path 61

7 Self-Actualization: Lessons from Psychology 81

8 The Evolution of Family 91

9 From Family to Tribe: The Emergence of Governance 101

Part Three--Principles of Family Governance

10 A System for Joint Decision Making 117

11 Participation and Commitment 129

12 Function and Structure 137

13 Change and Accommodation 147

Part Four--Family Leadership

14 Family as an Organization 157

15 Ensuring Dynamic Ownership 169

16 The Second Generation: Leadership's Critical Stage 189

17 Women and Ownership 203

Part Five--Tools and Pathfinders

18 The Essentials for Learning 211

19 Educational Assessment Tools 221

20 The Personne de Confiance: Service Redefined 233

21 Roles and Characteristics of a Personne de Confiance 247

22 A Father's Wisdom 265

Epilogue 283

Appendix: Recommended Reading 287

Index 309

"From time to time, something happens that requires us to change
the way we typically act, either temporarily or permanently. The
publication of Jay Hughes' second book, Family: The Compact
Among Generations, for me, is one of these events.... My wish
for all our readers is that they will take the time to read the
book--in the active sense of the word 'read'--and experience the
same pleasure of discovery and mind expansion as I did."

--Jean Brunel writing in the Journal of Wealth
Management

"Jay's words dance off the page as he shares his theory and
practice on how we all can inspire future generations to create and
fulfill their dreams. His disciplined research and common-sense
practices are mustreading for anyone interested in making the world
a better place and living every day to its fullest. How fortunate
that Jay Hughes has shared his wisdom for all to read."

--Jesse Fink

President, Marshall Street Management

"Jay Hughes, the wisest of counselors to successful families,
brings a Renaissance man's perspective to the most fundamental
challenges of family, of wealth, and of continuity. He also brings
a deep confidence and optimism for human nature and for the future.
Thousands of families have heard Jay's messages. With this book,
new generations of counselors will be able to support even more
families. That's a great gift.

"The deep wisdom Jay shares in this book can only be the result of
decades of experience and a special, genuine care for families. His
conviction for stewardship is exemplified by this sharing of his
unique wisdom with others who counsel families. This book gives
honest hope to families seeking healthy and successful continuity,
and also to those who serve them and who share Jay's sincere
concern.

"This is the best book ever written for counselors to business
families. Thank you, Jay, for sharing your wisdom and
passion."

--John L. Ward

Principal, The Family Business Consulting Group

Clinical Professor of Family Enterprises,

Kellogg School of Management, Northwestern University

"Jay Hughes has changed both the philosophy and vocabulary in
family-wealth advising. He is both an historian and innovator,
creating context and advice for those families who define their
success in much more than financial terms."

--Ellen M. Perry

Founder, Wealthbridge Partners, LLC

"Family: The Compact Among Generations is fundamentally a
book of deep, translational wisdom based on Jay Hughes's remarkable
reading of philosophy, religion, and psychology as they apply to
the complex journey of family life. The book is based on Hughes's
lifetime of service and counsel to families of great wealth, but as
I read the book and began to understand its central
metaphor--"shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three
generations"--words other than family kept coming to mind,
words like community, society, and
citizenship. Hughes may not have intended the metaphor to
apply to the journey of the human race, but in a world precariously
balanced between disastrous decline and the potential for the
resolution of major social dilemmas, it is the investment in human
capital and the awakening of the citizen within that will tell the
difference.

"This book is a gift. Read it. And when you do, consider its wisdom
from your individual and family persona and your public
persona."

--Peter Karoff

Founder and Chairman, The Philanthropic Initiative

JAMES E. HUGHES JR. is a sixth-generation counselor-at-law, now retired, and author of many influential articles on family governance and wealth preservation. He is renowned for facilitating multigenerational family meetings, with an emphasis on governance issues. Hughes is frequently called on to address international and domestic symposia on helping families to avoid the fate of the shirtsleeves-to-shirtsleeves proverb and to instead flourish through the growth of their human, intellectual, and financial capital. He also addresses these and other issues on his Web site at www.jamesehughes.com.